In no particular order, these are things I know that bring happiness when it seems far away:
1).
Begin and maintain a regular meditation practice. A simple, almost every day practice, is the single best thing I know for achieving long term peace and inner stability. It doesn't have to be boot camp meditation, you don't have to be whacked on the back by a zen master. Simply pick a time and place to do it regularly, and show up, even if it's just for 5 minutes every other day in the beginning. You may want to get a CD or take a class to help you get started.
2)
Eat Chocolate. This needs no explanation.
3)
Listen to music or re-read a book you love. This isn't about discovering new pleasure--the key here is to revisit something you love to do, that takes you out of your mind and into a place you enjoy. Turn up the music and dance around your house. Close the curtains. Include your family if you have one. Have fun.
4)
Hug your kids, your partner, a friend. Pet your dog or cat. Sappy I know, but it's true. Love brings us happiness. Be where you have it in your life, instead of dwelling on where you don't.
5)
Go to a Springsteen concert. I know, he's not on tour right now. But when he is, there is no better party on the planet.
6)
Stop thinking about the things that make you unhappy or stressed. Easy to say. But if you can do it, it totally works. Someone once told me that whenever I worried about work I should think about going to the gym instead, a topic I'm totally neutral about (I show up when I want, work out as I want, leave and forget about it until the next time). Lately, having just ended a relationship, whenever he pops into my mind I say "thank you for being in my life,"(a statement I really mean, but if that one doesn't work for you, pick something that you can
affirm with truth) and then deliberately think about something else. This time it is easy to do because it's an easy break up, but it works for the heartbreak ones as well. You just have to have the discipline to do it. And don't add to your misery by beating yourself up if you can't.
7)
Cry. It seems counter-intuitive to happiness I suppose, but when we need to, getting the tears out is the essential first step to easing the pain and heading back into light.
8)
Make love with someone you love. If you are lucky enough to be in a loving relationship with another person, act on it. If you're too tired, or can't get in the mood for some other reason, figure out what you need to get the mood back, ask for it or do it, and then make each other happy. It feels great and it's free.
9)
Hoola Hoop with a 7 year old. Or play kick ball, or build a fort in the woods or go roller blading. Enter into a kid's world, your own or someone else's. Be fully present with them, on their terms, and watch what happens and how you feel.
10)
Make gratitude lists. List what you love about your house, your kids, your relationship, your old relationship, your education, you job, your family. It doesn't matter how awful any of these things are as well, only focus on the positives.
Make the effort to build positive appreciation back into your life.
11)
Do something you love. Another obvious one, but we can forget to do it, or think that helping other people do what they love is a good enough substitute. It's not. I spent last weekend gardening, ripping out weeds, putting in compost, planting pansies. It was all for me, because I feel better after I've gotten my hands in the earth, and because I knew I'd want to see something cheerful and pretty in my yard come February. You might want to take a walk, go for a swim, go to a movie you want to see, have dinner with friends, go back to pottery class. If taking the kids to soccer is something you really love, by all means count that, but if it's not,
12)
Include yourself in your list of important people in your life. And act as if you mean it.
Do you have any suggestions to add?
