Susan Boyle

Like everyone else, the Susan Boyle video made me cry. If we could each just internalize that moment when she stops being what we think she looks like, and starts to sing who she is–if we could each know with utter certainty that her voice is who I am–well, we’d have no need of therapy or religion, we’d be directly connected to the source of God within us and healed in a flash. And know that everyone else is as well, and this is the only real thing in all the world.
Everyone keeps talking about what she looks like–but don’t we all feel like we look like that, even when we don’t? I certainly do. Don’t we all feel judged by Simon and sense the withering scorn of teenagers and that we’ve never, really, been kissed? And of course we judge the same thing about others. I sometimes feel like there’s a panel of judges who watch and record my every move. Their derision make Simon look seem like a sweet teddy bear of comfort and delight, and of course I’m always failing, always about to be laughed off the show and belted with rotten tomatoes, exposed for the fraud I am. It’s one of the near constant soundtracks playing in the back of my mind. I’m not good enough. Ever.–actually, lately, I’ll move that up to rarely. Rarely good enough. Which is an improvement I’m seriously, sincerely grateful about.
But the only real thing is the voice of God inside. Knowing we are each that voice inside, every single one of us. All the time.
Thank you Susan Boyle and youtube for reminding me of that.